Potty Training the Strongest Willed Child

A good friend of mine said that God gave me Isaiah so that I wouldn’t judge other parents. As a confession of my heart I see this to be true.

My first child was, and still is, text book perfect. Potty training was easy and we didn’t need to bribe him, which was so frowned upon in all of my child development classes. And then there was Isaiah…

We waited until we knew his mylen sheeth was developed. We had open door potty sessions. We watched the videos together, sang the songs and read the books. He would not, however, sit on the potty, not for anyone. He would scream. In fact he would not even tell us when his diaper was dirty. He would rather sit in it all day, even if a rash occured.

So we received lots of advice. “Find his money,” one would say. “Let him go in his underwear,” another would say. Aaahck! Could I actually resort to bribery. Well reluctantly I did. He loved chocolate, so we bribed him with it. But he didn’t care. He didn’t want it. We told him that boys in diapers could not play video games, but he didn’t care. When we let him go without diapers, he went all over the place, while screaming. Then he made a mess on our carpet and walls with his poop. That just was not working for us. I would rather have had him diapers forever than let that happen again. So I took a step back for a while.

We worked on getting him to tell us the truth when his diaper was dirty. We gave him a time out every time he lied to us and he finally complied. However he would not offer us the information. We always had to ask him. In this way, I knew that he did understand what it meant to be wet and pee and poop. I would test him by asking him when he was dry as well, making sure that he knew the difference. So I decided to try again. We sat him on the toilet and he held both his pee and poop for 24 hours. Well that was really scary for us, so we stopped again.

Finally I said, “This is it!” We sat him on the toilet for almost two days. We made it fun for him. We sang songs, read books, blew bubbles. He cried some, but also had some fun; however, he would not go. He held it the entire time. I called my sister, who is a pediatric nurse, to make sure that he wouldn’t get sick from doing. She said that he wouldn’t and that my situation is not unusual. So with that ammo, I refused to put a diaper back on him. I was determined to be the stronger will.

Well he finally went, on the third day, in the toilet. His little bladder was so bloated. I felt so bad, yet relieved at the same time (so did he, I am sure). He realized at some point that we were not giving up this time, so he reluctantly worked with us. After a few accidents, he finally understood that his life would be easier, and dryer, if he used the toilet.

Our struggle, however, is not over. He will not initiate the use. He still protests when we tell him he has to go. He would prefer to hold it until it falls out of him. He will go when we tell him to, but he is not pooping regularly anymore. He holds it until he can’t anymore and we are lucky to catch him at the right time. So the training continues. Did I mention he turned four in September. Ugh!

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